The beginning

My entire life I have struggled with my weight, and my desire to be thin. I've won the battle a few times, but oddly enough, I was never thin enough to satisfy my desire. It wasn't until after I gained weight again that I realized I had won, that I was thin. My fight with the scale and mirror are daily, and often leave me feeling defeated. There are some times throughout the day I feel thin, but mostly I am sucking in my stomach in the mirror, or squeezing my rolls as I sit down. I can't remember a day in my life that this hasn't been my routine. There are often times I don't want to leave the house because I feel fat in everything I wear. It's an weird feeling when I go out, and I know other people are bigger than me, yet they wear more revealing clothing, and still I am dying in my own skin.

The soul purpose of this blog is to try to steer away from these negative feelings toward myself. For the next 5 and a half months I will be receiving programming from my coach John. For the next 5 months I will attempt to focus on the numbers I am producing from my workouts rather than the number on that AWFUL scale.

Wish me luck!